School's Out! Oh Boy! Wow! Great! I Made It! Er ... Now What?

I always watch with great interest what people say who are invited to speak at commencements.  I find their points, sometimes outrageous but always interesting.  Most are invited because they have some particular slant on things.  I have never given a commencement speech, but if I were to have given one this year, I think this is something along the lines of what I would have said.

 

Welcome to the world!  Now get to work!  You are leaving probably the last place on earth where you will be protected and had the privilege to work or not work, as you saw fit.  Now, some of you are off to college and some of you are off to the workplace.  Both have pretty much the same particulars as far as that pertains to the rules of engagement.  Here are some you might find of interest.

 

First of all, nobody owes you anything.  Most of you have been self-absorbed, privileged “takers” for the past eighteen years.  While there have been some notable exceptions, for the large part, you are a very selfish group indeed.  Good for you!  It has been handed to you and as a very wise man once told me, “When they pass a plate of cookies, take one, you never know if it will come around again”.  Going to school and graduating was set before you as an obligation but if you didn’t see it as a great privilege, then you really missed something.

 

No, nobody owes you anything.  In fact, you owe an enormous debt of gratitude to teachers who were paid less than they were worth or could have made somewhere else, who tried to instill in you perhaps a love of the written word, a physical talent or the tools by which you could learn at a higher level to attain your intended career.  As your parents did to their parents, you now owe a debt of gratitude to them for allowing you this privilege of pretty much eighteen years of uninterrupted free time.  If you do not think it was free time, then you are in for the greatest shock of your life.  Oh yes, you perhaps thought you had to make good grades but if you missed the point that in earning good grades you also attained the princely reward of knowledge then, again, you missed a great deal. 

 

Now is the perfect time to reflect on the past Act One of your life.  Are you interesting and interested in anything?  Are you a giving or empathetic person?  Do you do things for other people as payment or obligation or do you do it for the simple joy of being human?  And, finally, if you missed the importance of these lessons, then you missed something yet again because there are laws of the universe in dealing with other people that you had better learn and learn very quickly.

 

The world outside of these walls is not a world where somebody makes sure you are up and dressed in clean clothes for school or that you have a meal before you leave or is willing to stay after school on their own time to help you catch up or work a job so you do not have to.  It is a world where, if you sleep in, do not take care of your health and are not appreciative of those who help you, you will find yourself, sooner or later, alone and bitter that you have not achieved what you thought you should.  You will only achieve anything worthwhile by recognizing the true secrets of the universe in human relations and by the sweat of your brow.

 

What are the secrets of the universe?  They are very simple tenets in this world that, if done, will get you everything in life that you desire.  They are not really secrets, but the rules by which all successful people grow and prosper.  They are not new, they have been around since the beginning of time.  They are simply this.  Do more than people expect you to do and get more of what you want by helping others get what they want.

 

Of course, doing more than people expect entails many things.  It has to do with being either a lady or a gentleman, as the case may be.  It means showing up early and staying late.  It means not asking how much am I going to get paid, but what can I do to help.  It means building your life and your career on a foundation of truth and integrity.  Do not kid yourself, either.  Integrity is not so much doing the right thing when someone is watching.  It is doing it when nobody is around.  Clearly say what you mean and mean what you say and live up to your words.

 

Life if not as complicated as we make it out to be.  We all want to be treated a certain way so doesn’t it make sense for us to treat people the way they want to be treated.  Please note, I did not say, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, though it is a good corollary.  Everybody is different.  Recognize that people are more interested in themselves than they are in you until you demonstrate that you are interested in them.  In addition to the most powerful words in the English language of “please” and “thank you”, I would also add, “how can I help you?” and “I need your help”.  People always appreciate when another extends a sincere hand of friendship and they never feel so important as when somebody asks for their help and are more invested when they give it.

 

Old people are not just old people.  At one time, they were just like you are now and like you will be some day if you are lucky.  They have life experiences that, if you are smart, you will ask about and listen to with a naïve sense of acceptance.  In the bargain, you will get the very special gifts of hard won insight and appreciation.  As I said before, people want to help you and sometimes the only thing that older people can do at some point in their life is tell their stories and offer advice.

 

You are stepping off into terra incognita.  For this one time, I will not burden you with telling you to look it up.  Terra incognita means unknown lands and on the maps of the old explorers, it was where they were not sure whether, if they continued sailing, they might fall off the end of the earth.  The world before you is a vast unknown full of great wonder and disappointment, successes and failures, triumphs and tragedies.  Whatever you do, it is not so important what happens to you, it is only important how you react.

 

There has never been a time in history when so much will change over the next few years.  In the early years of human existence, change came very slowly, almost glacially.  Only recently, in the past hundred years or so has change begun to accelerate.  It is the nature of knowledge that it builds on itself and increases the rate of acceleration of change.  If you think we live in the most modern, technically advanced state, you are right … for the moment.  You will look back from the perspective of twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or even sixty years and remember these as the quaint, good old days.  What is about to happen in the human world is going to happen at a rate never before seen by humans.  Much of the consequences of these changes will be due, in large part, to you and your contemporaries.  In this regard, if you feel you have squandered the past eighteen years, then perhaps you can learn from it and make sure the coming years granted to you are years of which you make the most.  Good luck!