Happy Father's Day! The Day That Almost Wasn't

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!  THE DAY THAT ALMOST WASN’T

Many things cross my mind when I think about the ultimate outcome of becoming a father.  At the top of the list was the comedy, How To Murder Your Wife, starring Jack Lemmon, Terry Thomas and Virna Lisi.  It is the story of a wealthy New York cartoonist (the character of Jack Lemmon) who is living a wonderful, carefree bachelor’s life until he wakes up one morning with a naked woman in his bed which turns out to be his new wife.  Previous to this excruciatingly funny scene, at the beginning of the movie, Terry Thomas, you remember him, he was the gap-toothed comedian from England, takes you on a tour of Lemmon’s apartment with all the bachelor toys, walk-in closet with neatly arranged suits, ties and shirts and then he turns and leers to the camera saying to the audience, “And all this could have been yours … if only you hadn’t gotten married”.  When Lemmon sees Virna Lisi come out of a cake at a bachelor party, it is pretty much game over, hence the new wife in his bed scene later on.

There is certainly a special relationship between mothers and children for obvious reasons.  Mothers Day was a holiday begun after the Civil War and, promoted by eager-to-sell merchants, it was pretty much an instant success when it began in Spokane, Washington in 1910 and made official by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914.  Father’s Day was an entirely different matter.  Several attempts were made to create a Father’s Day but they, the fathers, being the squinty-eyed realists, eschewed it as an unmanly celebration and disdained it from the point of view that many of the gifts would be paid for by the father in any event.  In the 20s and 30s, they even tried to scrap Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in favor of a single holiday, Parents Day.  That didn’t work either.  Finally, in 1972, Richard Nixon signed a proclamation making Father’s Day a federal holiday.  So, we fathers have our day whether we want one or not.

Personally, I am glad of it.  While there is a fairly clear and sentimental feeling for Mother’s Day, the poor dads need some recognition, too, for giving up their sports cars and, many times, the opportunity to sleep in, leave the dishes unwashed in the sink and wear their underwear two days in a row.  It is a tough job but somebody has to do it. 

Much has changed in recent decades when women are now as much or more the breadwinners than fathers used to be.  I can remember the day when most of my friends’ mothers stayed at home and the fathers went off to work. 

Today, you are just as likely to find a stay-at-home dad, or even a single dad, bringing up his kids.  The last time they were counted, there were a tad over 70 million fathers in the nation (2008) and in 2012 there were almost 2 million single fathers in our country. 

Although the feelings for mothers are perhaps more sentimental, the role of fathers in general is certainly worthy of examination and respect.  Perhaps it is because of the sacrifice of their bachelorhood and other things they gave up that they deserve their due, but I think it is more the fact that as the traditional, titular head of the family and the lessons of working to put food on the table and clothes on the backs of a family, it is perhaps one of the most sacred roles in society. 

Fathers, as much as mothers, determine how their children grow and what kind of adults they become.  A father, more than any other person in a child’s life, can make a difference by leading by example.  Then again, as the old saying goes, you can always tell who a father is.  He’s the guy who has pictures of kids in his wallet where his money used to be.

On this day, I would like to dedicate these thoughts and a well-earned happy Father’s Day to my own son who is the best father I have ever known and to his friend, the son of my business partner, who is about to become one as well.  Happy Father’s day boys and all of you other fathers out there who are eating burnt toast and drinking warm orange juice in bed.  This is your day, enjoy it.